Football Manager – the ideal game for those who love strategy and heart palpitations. One minute you’re feeling like a tactical genius and the next you’re rocking in a corner because your star striker just tore his ACL. It’s definitely a rollercoaster of emotions but, fear not, with these tips and tricks, you too can stay sane while playing Football Manager.
Pay your respect to the FM Gods. Set up an altar with candles, incense and a picture of your favourite player. Offer a sacrifice of a pint of beer or a bag of crisps and pray for success. If you’re feeling really serious about it, you can even sacrifice your firstborn child (I’m joking, please don’t do that).
If you need an outlet for your frustration, why not create a Blame Board? Pin up pictures of everyone and everything that’s been winding you up during your save. The Assistant who keeps giving you terrible advice? Pin him up. The player who keeps missing an open goal? Pin him up too. Throw some darts at them for the ultimate stress relief.
When you’re facing a tough decision, don’t rely on your own judgment – consult a magic eight ball instead. Ask whether you should make a substitution, sign a new player or change your formation. Do exactly what it says – if things don’t work out, at least you’ve got something to blame.
If you really want to get fancy, create a Football Manager panic room complete with cosy blankets, chilled music and pictures of your squad. Just be careful not to fall asleep in there and end up leaving your Assistant in charge for the Cup Final.
Need someone to confide in? Your pets are the perfect listeners. Even if they don’t understand a word you’re saying, they’re always there to silently judge you. You could even train them to bark or meow in agreement with your decisions.
And finally, don’t forget to take a break when things get too stressful. Joey Tribbiani had a great idea when he put his book in the freezer – why not do the same with your laptop?
Remember though, at the end of the day, it’s all just some fun. Embrace the chaos, laugh at your mistakes and, if all else fails, call your Mum. She might not understand what a Libero is, but she’s always there to offer words of encouragement.