Earlier this year, I stumbled across a hidden gem in the Steam Workshop that turns the entire concept of football upside down. Aptly named The Worst Football Manager Database Ever by @LucasBorrilez, this database promises a mix of chaos and evilness.
Here’s an exploration of how some of the leagues worked after I decided to simulate a season with The Worst FM Database Ever.
Richest Clubs in England
In traditional sims, Manchester City usually dominate the financial charts. However, this chaotic database comes with a twist, and Manchester City don’t even make it into the top twenty. Instead, Farsley became the wealthiest club in England after raking in £176 million in prize money.
The windfall resulted in a transfer budget of £45 million, which could set the stage for a very interesting second season.
Premier League
There are no big surprises with the final league positions, but in one of the most shocking outcomes of this database, every team has been relegated to Tier 2.
Imagine the scenes this would cause throughout the world. Leagues in Tier 2 and below, often seen by many as being less competitive than the Premier League, will suddenly become the main stage for drama in English football.
The League of Pure Luck
In this league, every match outcome—win, lose, or draw—earns the team 2 points.
Where tactics and strategies are usually essential for success, here pure luck takes centre stage and makes the journey to the top a matter of chance rather than skill.
The League of Compromise
A win and a loss earn you 2 points, but a draw will earn you 6. This bizarre scoring system resulted in Leyton Orient having a nightmare season, where they didn’t lose a single game yet still failed to secure promotion.
The format of this league forces managers to rethink their entire approach and prioritise drawing over winning, a strategy that feels counterintuitive but one that is essential for success.
The League of Self-Deprecation
In another variation of the norm, teams in this league receive 6 points for losing and 2 for a win or draw.
This league rewards failure and turns all logic on its head.
The League of Two
Mimicking the Isles of Scilly League, where only two teams compete against each other throughout the entire season.
With only one opponent to focus on, every match becomes a high-stakes encounter with pride on the line.
The Literal Championship
True to its name, this league is quite literally a championship, with only one team being promoted to the Premier League.
The simplicity of this league contrasts with the absurdity of others, serving as a reminder that sometimes the most straightforward of ideas can be the most entertaining.
The Chopping Block
Perhaps the most brutal of all, just one team can survive in this league, and the rest are relegated to the non-playable Abyss.
It’s survival of the fittest, where only the strongest team can succeed.
The League of Behaving Well
All points are equal, and promotion is decided based on discipline. The league emphasises the importance of behaviour and adds a new dimension to gameplay.
By rewarding teams that play fairly and within the rules, it highlights the often overlooked aspect of sportsmanship in football.
The League of Demanding Schedules
With a schedule of 69 league games, teams in this league face a gruelling test of endurance; rotation and squad management are vital.
Managers must navigate the physical toll of a marathon season, balancing the needs of consistent performances with the inevitable fatigue of their players.
Overview
The Worst FM Database Ever is a fantastically chaotic creation for any Football Manager player. It defies logic with its bizarre league formats and unpredictable outcomes. From the riches of unexpected clubs like Farsley to leagues where losing is rewarded, the database keeps managers on their toes.
It’s a wonderful experience for a single season, but continuity issues happen in the second season, with some league rules not being followed by the AI and teams ending up in leagues they shouldn’t.
Download
If you want to check out this chaotic database for yourself, you can download it from the link below.
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